How to ask a woman out when you’re a transgender man.
When it comes to making the first move, I’m terrible at it.Whether that’s been in my previous incarnation as a lesbian or my current one as a trans guy, the fact is, it’s simply better that I don’t realise when I want to hit on someone.Flirting, it seems, only comes naturally to me when I don’t actually think that I might like to take things a little further with the person in front of me.
Where some guys get full of bravado and let rejection run off their egos like rain off a freshly waxed car, testosterone hasn’t quite boosted my confidence levels that far just yet, so I’m still more likely to get all shy and emotionally-challenged when faced with someone I really quite fancy.
But, like all great hypocrites, I’m very much aware of what I should be doing even if I’m not quite able to actually do it myself.
Here’s how to make the first move if you’re a trans guy. Firstly, don’t make the whole transgender thing a big issue.I’m not advocating that you lie here, that’s just stupid because she’s going to find out sooner or later, especially when she asks you what school you went to and you have to mention that well-known all-girls grammar.
But it doesn’t have to be a lead item unless you want it to be.
Being transgender is still something that’s quite a shock to most people and it challenges their own identities and sexualities.
There is an inherent connection between gender and sexuality in how transgender people are portrayed in the media, so it’s not uncommon for a straight women who finds herself attracted to a trans guy to wonder if she’s a lesbian. Pretty stupid, right?
Next you’re just going to want to relax. Have confidence that her answer, ultimately, doesn’t matter.If she rejects you, you can’t take it personally because she doesn’t know the first thing about you so it actually *is* nothing personal. If she says yes, well then, what was there to worry about in the first place?
Being transgender is no reason to make you hesitant when you want to hit on someone. Take your time to get to know someone properly and, then, you can offer up your big reveal.
Allowing the person to get to know you as a person before declaring your transgender status will make it harder for them to reject you solely because of it.
If they still choose to reject you because you’re transgender, then you can walk away knowing that they were never right for you in the first place.
If you struggle with the rejection, ask yourself why you want to date someone who can’t accept who you are in the first place?
Being successful in dating, whether you are trans or not, is all about confidence, knowing who you are and what you want.
Get that sorted and the rest will fall in to place.
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