24 things all women think while giving a blow job

24 things all women think while giving a blow job

 As Samantha Jones once said ‘honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing’.

This is what we’re thinking on those occasions when you’re lucky enough to be getting head.

1.This is an overly complicated belt. Seriously, is this a chastity belt?

2. Note to self: buy him new pants. If I don’t, his mother will get more of these monstrosities.

3. Hm, how to start?

4. Christ, this is taking a long time. Is he delaying on purpose or am I really bad at this?

5. If I pretend to be enjoying this that might speed things up.

6. Jaw ache.

7. Oh well, at least he’s not as big as that guy I met on holiday.

8. Er, grabbing the back of my head may seem sexy but I’d rather not choke to death, thanks.

9. I wonder if men secretly find vaginas as gross-looking as women find penises.

10. Not as gross as balls though. There’s really nothing sexy about a ball.

11. If I look in his eyes while I’m doing this that will speed things up, won’t it?

12. I really want to stop now but it seems like I might actually be getting somewhere.

13. Dilemma: if I switch to hand I’ll be way more comfortable. But that might set things back a bit.

14. That’s it, I can’t breathe, I’m switching to hand.

15. Why do men like this so much anyway?

16. I guess I might as well try that thing I read in Cosmo.

17. I really should have tied my hair back.

18. Ugh. Pubes.

19. Right. How should I deal with the impending, er, situation?

20. Don’t want to swallow. Spit seems rude. Boobs might be better but I don’t trust his aim.

21. If I’d used a condom I wouldn’t be having this dilemma.

22. Shit, better decide soon.

23. Oops, neck and hair it is then. Oh well, better than that time I got red eye.

24. Crap, this will take ages to shampoo out.